The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil,
but because of those who look on and do nothing.

~~~ Albert Einstein



Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Victims over the AoC

Most of you already know AoC is the term used to refer the legal term "age of consent". And while this blog usually focuses a little more on the sexual abuse of those UNDER the AoC, there is another blog I felt you all might take some interest in.

Victimized over the AoC, is a well written blog focusing on the crimes committed against victims that are mostly adults. The blogger does a incredible job of highlighting the importance of establishing laws and providing a voice to those who are older- but victims none the less. What is even more interesting is that the blogger is a man. And I mean that with the highest amount of respect. All to often, it feels as the fight against sexual crimes is being fought by politicians and women alone- so having a man share in supporting these victims is note worthy to say the least.

I had the chance to do a little corresponding with the blogger, Brian Heard and with his permission- I'm sharing an email from him with you. I found it inspiring and motivating, and hope that after reading it- you'll be moved to follow the link to his site and show your support.

Some thought from my blogging and research -

I believe that laws prohibiting professional/client sex need to be expanded to cover pastors and preachers as well as therapists, doctors, counselors, and jail guards. When there is professional/client sex, the adult status of the lesser partner makes it a lesser sexual crime than if it had been a 13 year old,but not a consensual relationship.

In Arkansas, acts which would be considered 1st degree sexual assault when done with a minor are considered 3rd degree sexual assault when done with an adult. This means that pastors, counselors, and others with professional power over another don't get off scot-free when they victimize folks over 18. The are still listed as SO's, still have to attend SO counseling and undergo SO restrictions, and are still banned from working with kids or living around kids in other states if they move there.

2) Manipulative 30 and 27 pairings can be every bit as damaging as a 30/15 pairing. Cyberpaths and Lovefraud are two blogs which deal with sexual predators who target adults. These predators successfully skirt the law by 1) targeting grown victims, 2) using psychological manipulation instead of force or threats, and 3) creating power differences instead of using existing power differences.

3) Wife/girlfriend rape can be seen as the extension of CSA to grown kids, and parental involvement can deter DV and date rape situations in certain cases, even above 18, 21 or 30. Like CSA, the boyfriend/husband grooms his victim, then pounces, all the while making the victimized woman believe that she is in love with her abusive "partner." The same dynamic occurs in CSA when the victim believes her perp is in love with her.

With girlfriend or wife rape, the rapist can be seen as someone who not just the woman, but who the woman's parents entrusted their child to, but who betrayed them, not unlike a molester. I've read many parents of grown kids wishing that they could have done something to stop the predator from killing or harming their adult child.

The sexual abuse of a wife happens in one out of eight marriages, according to this study. Abuse in general (not necessarily sexual) occurs one out of 4 times. There is a need to talk about dating violence and wife rape, because 1 in 4 women comes to 30 million women in the USA. 1 in 8 women means 15 million women are raped by husbands. I honestly believe that in cases of abuse, parental intervention could save women from abusive partners or boyfriends.

I'm currently giving $75 a week to this rape crisis center, and plan to give the same next year. That's a lot of money, more that the fines of some sexual predators, but I'm paying $700 a month in credit card bills, and these payments will end next year. I'm still saving almost $4000 a year from my current CC payments.

Honestly, we could use a few more men like Brian on our side.

Visit his site:
Victims over the AoC.